Irish road signs explained!

The road sign below is a pleasant reminder that the best way to find your way around Ireland is to…..well…err….ignore the road signs! Reminded me of something me mum once said which was based on her experience of growing up in rural north Donegal. And when I say rural, I mean rural. When a stranger asks you how to get from here to there, the response always being the same, wherever you are, whoever you are:

“Well sir/madam…you go straight down that road and that will take you wherever you want to get to.” Now this may sound funny, unhelpful or even spiritual depending on where you are coming from, or in this case, going to. But I can assure you dear reader; the directions were uttered with 100 per cent sincerity!

Anyone who can guess correctly where this particular signpost is situated wins a FREE compass and a 12 month subscription to ‘Unhelpful Irish erections daily’. Closing date to be announced so watch this space folks.

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WTF?! Is this a WiFi wet spot???

I am William Wallace!

Behold, an Irish King in the ascendant,
His sense of humour is very very pleasant.
Is he a braveheart?
Or just a jumped-up tart
With talk that is largely irrelevant.

From Tullabeg

A stately father looms in my conscience,
As he earnestly toils the stricken land.
It yields at best, a life threatening harvest,
Barely strong enough to eat, lest trawl.

This evil blight casts a long shadow of death.
My pre-existence falters,
As he treads the narrow valley
Between life and death.

Empowered only by his faith,
His weak spirit gently lights up the land.
Spreading hope; and life.

Only the sinewy grass
Offers him a moment of strength.

The sun shines mercilessly on his weary back;
His prayers usher back the poison,
As it recedes toward its earthly core.

A woman beckons; and his pain sets forth.
And from these grass roots,
Generations have spawned.

A prayer of gratitude we owe this great man.
For although his tomb is grassed over,
‘Tis these grasses that rendered us life.

No more empty voices
Shall bellow and beg;
As we recall the grassy sprawl,
Of Tullabeg.


Written January, 1997.

The Software Generation

I was released into the wild during the summer of 1968, some 11 years after my predecessor. My world was and is based very much on software downloaded from my parents, who were born into a very different environment. I was marketed as the 2GI68, the fifth in a series of six diverse products. Alas, the 2GI68 has experienced a number of compatibility issues over disparate networks. However, its general performance has improved with the welcome addition of JO75. She is a nimble model and very well equipped. She benefits from extensive functionality and is quite adept at multi-tasking. The JO75 is also very aesthetically pleasing; a rare combination of elegance and performance.

Anyway, back to the 2GI68. Although he has benefitted from the interface with a younger model, he can still experience defective thought processes that sometimes stretch the wider network. He needs to recycle more and store less. When JO75 tried to re-install 2GI68, she was greeted with some very unwelcome messages, most of which failed the spell checker. In the end, it was suggested that she contact his maker. They have branches in many States and are renowned for excellent parts availability not to mention great after sales service. They recommended a multi-cultural service pack and this does seem to have stabilised 2GI68.

The convergence of 2GI68 with JO75 has yielded two very lively
new products. Their software is still being developed but they show plenty of promise and we keenly await future upgrades. They seem to interface seamlessly with comparably aged and sized products. One of the most pleasing features is the plug-and-play option. They do require frequent recharging, typically around Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner times. However, they occasionally require additional top ups between meals, especially when engaged in more rigorous activities. Failure to address this will invariably lead to a dramatic decline in performance and compliance generally. That said, they provide many hours of entertainment. Their sense-of-humour functionality works in credibly well and has exceeded all my expectations. It compares favourably against older models, possibly because they have not been exposed to excessive RSS media feeds and other sources of unwanted content.

The biggest problem is with the newer product ConLeche07. Occasionally, her batteries leak without warning and the device can overheat if corrective measures are applied too rigorously. Furthermore, the auto-sleep feature seems to be a bit temperamental and this has caused no end of problems, affecting other devices in the network. This has led to service outages during daylight hours and it has been difficult to keep the whole network online, especially during periods of high demand. We have consulted a networking specialist and he recommends that the auto-sleep feature be deactivated for a week or so, before being progressively reintroduced. This may warrant the reconfiguration of some address locations, until this process has been exhausted. Another difficulty relates to their tendency to process too many activities concurrently. This can make housekeeping and general systems management very challenging to say the least.

Despite these glitches, we have been overwhelmed by their degree of intelligence. This module is not included in the vanilla split
implementation and we hope and expect to see these benefits as both products reach maturity. The operation of this module is highly intuitive but one does have to be careful what Meta data you upload. Problems with association are notoriously difficult to debug.

It requires a skilled practitioner to master this feature so recommend its use with extreme caution. The RTF manual recommends that you program their settings so that they deploy activities in a linear manner. This will enable 2GI68 and JO75 to manage their resources more effectively. Failure to do so will compromise the main processor and potentially the whole network. When I researched this on the Internet, a few blogs recommended that the concurrent processing feature be configured before deploying the plug-and-play feature.

Overall, we are delighted with our new products. They have provided welcome additional capacity to what was an ageing network.

 Written January, 2010.

New adventure

This is the start of my adventure into the blogosphere. In my enthusiasm to find an original site and username, not to mention an attractive skin, I now feel too weary to write anything of note. So here is daring to be different. Let the journey begin.