Funky Chicken

Introduction

‘Everyone clap their hands. This song, goes out to our good friend, the amazing and marvellous chicken. Now I know that many of you, like me, have become acquainted with him over the past fortnight. But right now, I need some vocal support, so when I hold up the mike, I want you to make like a funky chicken whilst we sing the chorus.’

Verse 1
Whilst writing my journal
‘Chicky’ gets close and personal
A poultry meditation
But a new life situation

Chorus
Hey little chicken
Get out of my place
Right now I just need my own space!!

Verse 2
Whilst searching for meaning
My chicken is preening
Faced with life choices
All I hear is clucking voices

Chorus

Verse 3
In the corner of my vision
This bird’s on a mission
In search of some calling
Two spindly legs go walking

Chorus

Verse 4
Crazy thoughts start in my head
What would be good on sliced bread
An omelette would be egg-citing
But a chicken sandwich, appetizing

Chorus

Verse 5
My temperature is rising
This bird thing, surprising
My hut aint bijou
But this aint no children’s zoo!

Chorus

Verse 6
Disturbed in good karma
I make for the farmer
With not much vocabulary
I’ve a burden to carry
In no way of a word
He gave me the bird!!

Ending (thank goodness!)
‘One last time, people in the house,
Let’s hear it for Chicky’

Chorus
Hey little chicken
Get out of my place
Right now I just need my own space!!!

Performed in front of a startled looking audience
Written and Performed
By Rap Star J McK all the way from smoky London Town, England
Backed by DJ Ko, on Synth, hailing from the windy city, ChicaGo, US of A
Venue – Atsitsa,
Skyros Island,
Greece
September, 1999
http://www.skyros.com/skyros_island.htm

Please note: Evidence may yet soon come to light that will bring the one-hit wonder back down to earth…
for this was considered to be a grievous crime against the performing arts.

If you see this man, please feed him a chicken sandwich and
under no circumstances, let him go anywhere near a microphone.

Thank you 🙂

Good Ol’ Fashioned Aliens

Behold the creatures from outer space,
The other day they gate crashed my place.
Heard a knock at my front door,
The shock had my chin hit the floor.

For a chirpy little green man appeared,
With weird specs and a sparkly purple beard.
I could tell he was from out of town,
So I beckoned his friends to come on down.

Now I’m not society’s greatest host,
But they seemed to enjoy tea and
my House speciality; carbonated toast!

When asked if they had travelled far,
Their chief pointed to a distant star,
(actually I think he meant Stevenage)

“Gru-zup-Eek-Efzan-Derneptik”
(Yeap, Stevenage)
For his blatant lack of English,
The wee chap couldn’t be blamed.

These guys were refreshing guests.
Refrained from alcohol, orgies
And didn’t even leave a mess.

Not one mention of “Take me to your leader”
or an enquiry about the planets principle breeder!
But perhaps most surprising to report,
Was their traditional means of vehicular transport.

For having waved them off from my front yard,
One saw a green legion peddling mighty hard.
Soon after, I went to the local rags,
But they just put it down to funny fags!

It’s good to talk!

Just found this amazing new app. It’s called TALKING and has been crowd sourced through the Homo-Sapien platform, or ‘Darwin’ as it is known to its creators. This amazing new app has engaged the entire user community. Commentators are predicting it will take over from MutBook, Fritter and FreeSnail.

Everyone it seems welcomes this rediscovery of old technology. From software designers though to politicians, journalists, anthropologists and lollipop ladies. It is considered to be the only communication tool that can operate in any environment imaginable. The software has been reverse engineered in a way that means it can evolve with models across the globe. It is a work of genius that revolutionises the way we think about backwards and forwards compatibility.

Anyone can do it and if its founder and CEO Nee Ander Tall is right, we’ll all be using it soon. In the words of Tall, “it’s a game changer”. That’s a bold statement given the disappointing performance of his previous creation BANTER 7.01.  Chief software engineer, Chuck ‘Bull’ Schmidt puts BANTER’s failure down to the depressed markets which have been wallowing in a slump since the crash of 08. Schmidt concedes “we learned from that experience and aimed for a more modest yet ubiquitous product that would interface seamlessly with any model or system.”

The signs look good. On my way to interview, I overheard two young students talking to each other at the Met college campus downtown. Their peers looked on in amazement but it was interesting to note that soon, everyone started talking. It was as if a virus had permeated the atmosphere and was infecting anyone within earshot. Students were even using eye contact to bond with their contemporaries.

It’s premature to say whether our electronic devices are collectively destined for the great silicon graveyard in the sky. Perhaps a better fate will be their break up and recovery as the world struggles with growing scarcity of resources. Readers who want to find out more about TALKING are recommended to download the free plug in from www.theartofconversation.com.

I predict a very bright future for TALKING, so long as the volume and listening features are properly calibrated. Too much TALKING can be troublesome and it would surely drive customers back to their Tablets.

© Article by Y. Arn Spinner, Ph.D
Professor of human-centred technology.
Society of Honourable Intellectuals Talking in an Esoteric way (S.H.I.T.E.)
Hashville,
State 51.